Thieves!

Dear Shoplifters,

Some tips to make your job easier.

- if you are the first customers in the store, we know where everything is, cuz we just opened.

- don’t put the SECURITY TAG in your purse. The point of removing it is to ditch it somewhere else, so it doesn’t go off when you go through the towers.

-just cause I work in a porn store doesn’t mean I am entirely fucking stupid.

- oh yeah, and pro tip: people who work in porn stores are not bound by conventional rules of niceness, so when we do catch your dumb ass stealing all the employees and ownership is liable to scream obscenities at you